Turn it Off
by indigoyoshi
Summary: '...Not a vampire, not me, not even anyone. A bar code... A chemical in a lab that's left at the back of a cupboard with a label attached: 21051.' An Augustine Vampire... another one of them.


Screams.

So many screams. Around the clock. Daytime screams sounded like they were being ripped from the soil and placed into a world of insanity moulded by the pain which became second nature and poisoned the mind, a seed of doubt spiralled them into what we'd call Fucked Up. At night you could hear the unattended tears, and the half screams of the half conscious and the fatal whooping breaths as someone bleeds out in their cell. Then came the nightmares until you woke up and forgot your living in one.

They liked to keep your seats warm in hell because we'd always come back. Day after day, night after night.

I'd like to say that i got through it, i got passed the pain and my consciousness which was gnawing at my brain-

You aren't going to get out.

Get used to it.

Your paying for everything. This what you deserve.

I am a monster. This is what i deserve.

As you can see my so called coping wasn't turning out as well as i hoped. I was ready, ready to die. When they were taking me out of my cell i would lunge at one of them and then they'd have no choice but to kill me.

Well, that was the plan.

As you can read this, it didn't work.

Im not a fantasist and not young enough to believe in miracles but i believed in him.

Im currently sitting in a small motel, watching the sun set something I'd never thought I'd see again. I think this was all a dream that i might wake up and ill be back in darkness. Not a vampire, not me, not even anyone. A barcode... A chemical in a lab that's left at the back of a cupboard with a label attached: 21189

They day of my supposed death i was ready, i lunged at the bars and grabbed one by the hairs on his head and pounded it against the metal bars again and again blood spewing from his noisy head.

I felt a jab in my neck, the all too familiar burning sensation of concentrated vervain. I let go of the man, the world spinning like i was on a carousel around and around. I didn't really remember much only the dull sound of the hinges creaking.

" it ok ,its ok" a voice crooned in my ear , undergoing unsuccessful attempts of holding my body up.

" Im sorry i couldnt protect you... They're taking you away, to another place" i felt my my tender knees crack as i jolted to the floor " Im trying to fix you honey, we can be together again once your an Augustine" my father voice whispered in my ear, a blurred figure of a man in his fifties watches over me, not much makes sense accept the fact he's not my father, not anymore. Another figure lies with his head smashed in, half his head sunk deep into the cold metal poles, his eyes open but unseeing. I laugh but sounds more like a disgruntled yawn. A bag is over my head and black dots cover my site and my thoughts.

Silence.

So much silence.

" Shes awake?"

" Now she is, yes" sounds of metal clinking against each other.

" Lets begin"

"STOP STOP STOP!"

I didn't realise it was me, not unil they finished, my ribs cracked open my organs sliced and diced like some kind of sushi cuisine. I could only think, why arent i dead? What did i do to deserve this?

I passed out from the pain i expect. I wake up, blurred vision like condensation on a mirror. I dont feel anything, my mind silent.

" Guys shes awake!"

" Sweetie be careful"

I see a stone ceiling and i carefully twitch some limbs, arms, legs, hands... Head. I sigh in relief. No sound escapes my lips.

Then i feel it. My lungs were gone, my innards spewing on the floor but still connected inside my body, i scream not touching anything just hands hovering pointlessly, blood flowing from my chest like a river until a bloody wrist comes in contact with my mouth as i create silent screams. I bite into it, hearing a gasp as my fangs pool the torrent of blood, i shut my eyes tight and place a claw like hand on a muscular arm, not wanting it to be ripped away. I dont look at myself, since i know i must look like some kind of zombie. The sensation so disgusting i held myself back from gagging as my innards become innards once more.

I was awake, my mind screaming instructions.

GET OUT, RUN!

Run where?

I havent been in this new place for a day and ive already gained a demonic first reputation, i probably shouldn't have killed that man. If i thought back there was torture apparently i was just scraping the surface.

I started to cry, really cry. My world was ending and it didnt even begin. Two cold hands cup my face, stroking my cheeks gently.

" Look at me" a mans voice whispers, not a single tremor or disparity in his lingering tone.

I look up and my gaze greets a blue eyed stranger. I was so close i could see each shade of crystal blue in his piercing gaze as he continued to stroke my face, concern and pity masked his face. " We're all getting out of here. I don't know when and i don't know how but i promise you i'll get us out... All of us"

It already felt like i had the front seat ticket to hells gates but somehow, wallowing in my self pity i felt something i hadnt felt in a long time. I didn't even know him but yet i believed him, every word.

" My name is Damon" a small smile lingered on his lips.

" Damon" a man hissed opposite us, his head pushed up against the bars a perfect view into the long corridor.

" Stay quiet, look asleep" Damon whispered taking his arm out from my cell, i instinctively hold onto it, it was the warmest thing i felt in months, it felt safe. I reluctantly let go quickly and slumped lower onto the stone walls, slinking into the shadows. The lights went off and all i could hear was the silence on the outside, my mind screaming.

"What's your name?" Damon whispers, barely audible

I was surprised. Not many people had asked me that in a while and for a brief moment i felt unmistakably human.

"Nadia" I pause i should probably leave out the Petrova part. I know my mother's reputation.

I look back and think how thankful how much of an animal i resembled. Blood smearing my face and tainting my skin, dirt masking my face, hair unkempt and looked uncanny to a birds nest. So between us i'd prefer Damon to live his little fantasy with Elena, to forget about me and the past like i never could. To not be a barcode or a vampire, a human.


End file.
